Short Story ~ Chapter 4

Chapter 4

At first, I’m not entirely sure what I am looking at. It’s a heart shaped glass bottle filled with all sorts of beach treasures. There are all kinds of shells, pieces of coral, small rocks, sea glass, driftwood and sand. The bottle has a wide opening that is filled with an odd cork and tied around the neck of the bottle is raffia and another piece of coral; it looks like it is strung on the raffia. It is so beautiful and simple; it reminds me of some great times, as well as some not so great times. The beach in a bottle, I can hardly believe the sentiment, it means so much to me. I carefully take the bottle out of the box and set it on the coffee table, turning it all around to see all the little pieces of the beach they could fit in this thing. Underneath the bottle is a note, well more like a letter and it is hand written. The signature grabs my attention first “Mystery Man”. I take out the letter and start to read it.

Abigail,

The very fact you are reading this letter tells me that you are at least interested in what I have to say. I hope the flowers this afternoon were not too much, I felt compelled to tell you what you meant to me and I know you haven’t been on the receiving end of roses in quite some time.

I am sure as you read this you are trying to figure out who I am, rest assured you DO know me and I obviously know you. I have tried to keep my distance from you both professionally and personally and let me tell you it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. From the moment I first met you I have dreamt about you, wished that I had been the one you met in college, the one you fell in love with, the one you made your life with and the one you would grow old with.

No woman I have ever been with has compared to you. Your kindness, your loyalty, your wicked sense of humor, your ability to light up any room you enter with just a smile. You set the bar so high; those poor girls never had a chance.

But over the past two years I have watched you lose yourself. Your laugh has faded, your carefree attitude has been replaced by this shell of a person you once were. I miss you Abigail. I know my gifts to you came as a shock, as well as my cryptic emails but I don’t think you are ready for me to love you yet. Just know that I am waiting for the right moment, and them I promise I will reveal myself to you. So for now, please enjoy the flowers and the beach, I hope it helps you to remember your dreams.

Love always,

Mystery Man

I can’t even move I’m just sitting on the couch holding his letter. I know him? Almost ten years, which puts me back to when I started at my job? I must work with him, but who? Well, we have about fifty people at our company and all of a sudden I can’t remember any of them. How many guys do we even have there? Okay he wrote ten years, so when I stared there were only about twenty of us. Ahh, I can’t remember anything. Well at least that explains the flower on my desk, and the fact he saw me ‘storm’ out of work or down the street or whatever he said.

I try to email him to thank him for the flowers and the beach bottle but after six attempts I give up; I can’t seem to find the words I want to say. I am no longer as concerned by the fact he knows all about me, I actually feel better knowing that I know him too. It is actually reassuring that I won’t have to explain my situation, a widowed mother to two young children. It’s like we would be starting on date four or six or however many dates it takes to drop the whole ‘I have two little boys and my husband recently passed away’ bomb. Seeing as I haven’t dated since college I don’t know the rules anymore.

Right then and there I know what I’m going to do, I decide I’m going to flush him out tomorrow at work. I head to my closet and grab the Hawaiian shirtdress I got on my honeymoon, my teal strappy espadrilles that wrap up my calf and for a small touch the pink hibiscus flower clip I got in Hawaii too. I’m sure this outfit will garner some extra attention but I’m hoping the Mystery Man feels compelled to announce himself to me.

***

Friday morning and I’m up at five am without any assistance from my alarm, I know I’m going to need every minute if I am going to pull this off. Suddenly I am so thankful Lisa and I never stopped our girl’s day out, regular Mani/Pedi’s. She is one of the only friends I’ve held onto these past few years, we met when I started at the company. She was a consultant for NS Turner and we worked close on several projects and needless to say we hit it off. Since then we have been attached at the hip, I can’t believe I haven’t told her about Mystery Man, I’ve been so caught up in this craziness I completely forgot, I’ll have to fill her in tomorrow.

My shower is lightening fast and I managed to get my hair dry and curled in record breaking time. My make up look today will be a little more natural looking, just the basics, foundation, blush, mascara and my favorite lip plumping gloss. Before I get dressed I grab my shimmer lotion and apply generously to my legs, arms and chest, basically anywhere skin will be showing. Then the outfit, I grab it from the closet and stared to get dressed. This dress is so perfect, it was a staple on my honeymoon and I don’t think I’ve worn it since then. It is a button down shirtdress that comes up just above my knees and has a standard collar. It has large teal hibiscus flowers with a black background and a tie belt that goes in front. I leave the first two buttons undone so I don’t look like a librarian, and get my shoes on. The hair clip slides perfectly above my right ear and I take a step back to check out this look. Not too shabby, Mystery Man will have a hard time not approaching today! Or will he? Either way, Hawaiian day is MINE!

Since I managed to pull myself together so quickly I start to get the boys stuff ready for the day, I have to pack up bathing suits so they can go run in the sprinklers, and of course a change of clothes for each of them. They always manage to get so dirty that the usually need to have two outfits a day. Then I get their baggies of cereal, Apple Jacks for Philip and Trix for Ben; orange juice in their cups to take to daycare, and lastly their ‘car toys’. I never understood why they needed toys on the car, it is only a five minute drive from our house, but that is one less argument I want to have in the morning. I sneak into their room just before 6:30 and they are already up. They are just lying on their beds, probably contemplating whether or not to get out of bed. I greet them with a bright smile and an exaggerated Good Morning.

“Hey guys, wakie wakie time!” one day they will hate this but for now they don’t seem to be bothered by incessant need to add an ie or a y to the end of most things I say to them. “Where are my sleepy pies?”

“Good Morning Mommy, did you have nice dreams?” Ben likes to say my lines before I do.

“Yes I did sweetie, how about you?”

“Well, I dreamed that we were swimming at the pool and Mr. Incredible was playing blay blay blades with us and you…” he stopped himself, thank goodness he has a wild imagination and a lot to say, this conversation will probably take the rest of the day. “I’ll be right back I have to go potty” as he bolts out the door.

“Good morning Sleepy Pie” I sit next to Philip and rub his back. He is awake but I don’t think he is very happy about it. “It’s time get up baby, what do you want to wear today?” I always ask him but he really isn’t a morning person…again except on Saturday and Sunday. “Okay, how about your penguin shirt? Is that okay, it’s going to be hot today.”

“Ok mommy, I love you” awe, he is so sweet.

“I love you too Philip”  

As Ben runs back into the room I had just finished getting Philip ready. He is actually easy to get ready because he is so tired he doesn’t put up a fight. Ben on the other hand has an opinion about everything plus his insatiable need to get all of the words in his mind out at once makes mornings a struggle.

“Ben, what are you going to wear today?” I am afraid to ask.

“I don’t know, I want to wear pants and a sweater, I am so hot.” Haha, I know he gets them backwards every once in a while.

“You mean you are cold, right?”

“No I’m hot, I keep getting sweaty” He seems to be annoyed that I do not understand him this morning.

“Okay, but if you are hot I think you should wear shorts and a t-shirt, with your sandals. It is going to be hot today and I don’t think pants are a good idea.”

“Okay, you pick just no zippers or buttons”

“I know.” He is so picky, but that is one thing he really hates…zippers and buttons.

Even though that took a little more time than I was hoping we are still out the door and checking into daycare on time. Ali greets them warmly with a huge hug, I know they like it here because they talk about Ali all the time. ‘Ali knows ALL the colors’, ’Ali plays duck duck goose with us’, ‘Ali this and that’, I am grateful for her help and they are happy so I don’t mind hearing how awesome Ali is.

“Looking hot today Abby, got a hot date?” Ali whistles at me, shaking her hand like she just touched a hot plate. 

“No, its Hawaiian day at work and this was all I could find.” Not really but she hasn’t seen my entire wardrobe.

“Sure it is” She winks as the words pour out of her like a snotty teenager. She is one of the only other people on the planet I know who uses sarcasm as much as I do.

“Well, it is supposed to be hot today and this was the best choice.” I have no idea why I am defending myself to her, she doesn’t care.

“Uh huh” She is shaking her head at me just like I would be if I saw this situation unfold before me.

“Whatever, I gotta go” She can think whatever she wants I have a mission today and I will not let her distract me. “Bye guys, I’ll see you later, have a good day and NO TIME OUTS!!! I love you!” I yell back as I head out the door.

***

I am at work before eight and start to unload my things. I decided to bring a few roses back to work and to help figure out who Mystery Man is I bring my new beach in a bottle and set it on a prominent place on my desk. Hopefully he will see it as a clue that I want to meet him, or re-meet him or know who he is or whatever it is when you are introduced to someone who “loves” you that you already know but didn’t know that fact…ugh, my head is starting to hurt from this. Lastly I grab my phone before I stow my purse in my file cabinet. I am surprised to see an email since I already checked before I got in the shower.

Abigail,

I hope you enjoyed the gift I sent to you yesterday. When I didn’t hear from you I thought you might have been upset and would never want to meet me, but I am choosing not to think that. I can assume that you now know we work together but don’t think for one minute that I am going to just swing by your cube and say hello. I told you that you weren’t ready and I meant it. Hope you have your best Hawaiian shirt on today, I know I will.

Always Yours,

Mystery Man

“Hello” I jump at the surprise, Carla has the best timing EVER.

“Hey Carla good morning, looking good but where are your coconuts?”

“HA HA!” she is not amused this morning, and since she made the trip to my desk she must have something important to say. “I wanted to tell you, you look hot today, you really are taking this whole Hawaiian thing to heart, maybe you should have brought your coconuts.” Oh, not what I expected to hear from her but I’ll take it.

“Thanks Carla, I saw this just sitting in my closet and thought it could use a day out.”

“Well then what’s up with the whole hair, flower, make-up and fun shoe thing you’ve got going on, were those just sitting in your closet too?” Is she mad at me?

“It’s kind of a look, what’s wrong, why are you giving me the third degree?”

“I don’t know you just never dress up. I think you are seeing someone and you just don’t want to tell me. I thought we were closer than that. I have seen you alone for too long now and now you are walking around here like you are on could nine, smiling, getting flowers, and what’s this?” She grabs the bottle on my desk.

“It’s the beach in a bottle.” I’m trying not to give anything away.

“Not just a bottle, it’s a heart shaped bottle and it’s the beach, kind of a big deal for you.”

“I just thought I’d bring something from home to make my desk a little nicer” she can’t know where or when I got this.

“Really, Abby please I have been here for four years now you have never cared about how your desk looks. It is always the same stapler, pen jar, calculator and your phone. It could be an empty desk and no one would know any different.” She takes a long breath. “Look, Abby if you are seeing someone I am happy for you I just thought, well I thought we were closer than this, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry Carla, but I really am not seeing anyone. The flowers were from a friend and the bottle was just sitting on my end table collecting dust. I am trying to wake up again, I have been lost for so long it was becoming easier to stay a drone” I hadn’t realized she cared this much, I really have been wrapped up in my own little world.

“Okay, I’ll accept your answer for now but I know something‘s up. By the way you really do look hot today!”

“Thanks lady, right back at ya!”

I am finally settled and checking my work email, a meeting request just popped up and it’s a mandatory all staff meeting in the conference room in ten minutes. Great, this will probably be some kind of lame motivational speech by Mr. Turner himself, he always goes on and on about how he built this company from the ground up and how it is all because of us and how we are the ones who drive the business, its probably true but it feels awkward. Or worse it will be Cindy from HR talking about how great we are all and that’s why they coordinated this Hawaiian day, she has the worst talking voice you’ve ever heard. She reminds me of Ben Stein, one tone, and no excitement but to top it all off she is unbearably quiet so it’s a struggle to hear her and then to listen to what she has to say. Either way I’m not too thrilled, the only plus side to this is that I will get to see everyone who works here; maybe I will catch Mystery Man staring a bit too long. I really should be letting time take its course, but I can’t help it, I am desperate to know who he is.

When I make it to the conference room it feels like I’m the last one in because everyone turns and looks at me, ‘What do I have something on my face or something?’ I grab a seat near the back mostly because I can’t take the stares. Luckily everyone goes back to their conversations and then Carla swoops in and takes the seat next to me.

“Why are you all the way back here? You can’t get a good look at Nick from this far away, isn’t he so sexy?”

“I thought you were engaged to Jake? Having a change of heart?” I know he is hot, I’m not dead but the way the girls around here act when he comes in the room is embarrassing.

“I can still window shop Abby, as long as I don’t try on the clothes!” she starts giggling and everyone looks at us again.

“Shut up, everyone is staring.” Really, like we haven’t been in here a hundred times before, why is everyone so interested all of a sudden?

“Who cares, let them stare. They are just jealous.” Okay she’s in rare form today, I’m hoping the meeting starts soon, I can’t deal with her like this.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, good morning; let’s get this meeting started.” It is Mr. Turner; I wonder what we are going to hear today. He is a lot easier to listen to than Cindy but he comes with his own set of distractions. First he isn’t very old, I think maybe only five years older than me but he has accomplished so much already. He stared NS Turner & Associates just out of college because his own parents had been swindled out of their life savings from a ‘retirement planning firm’, he has told this story at least fifty times since I stared here. He loves his parents very much and that is obvious but the type of business he started always seemed different.

The company is a small financial advisor firm that helps clients with all aspects of estate and retirement planning. He didn’t want to just sell insurance and stocks; he wanted to be a one stop shop. One of the main things is asset allocation, he wanted to make sure people were taking the right amount of risk while still maintaining their portfolio, but that wasn’t what I liked about this place. NS Turner & Associates wants to give every person the chance to have a nice retirement; they offer debt counseling, real estate services, credit repair and of course they offer insurance products as well as stock brokers. It really is a great place to work, just as long as they aren’t trying to boost moral.

“During our first quarter earnings were up by…” This is about where I start to tune out, I do care about the company but I’d much rather get a memo about the numbers than have to sit here for an hour. Mr. Turner is an interesting guy, he stands over six feet tall, I think he is 6’3”. Even though he IS this company he doesn’t look the part, he is a bit laid back looking, he usually wears a white shirt with the first few buttons undone under his black blazer and black slacks, I’ve only ever saw him in a tie once at a Christmas party a few years back. He has dark brown hair is usually cut short so there is not much to get messy and his steel blue eyes, I find myself thinking about the first time I met him. During my interview, back then he insisted that he do all the hiring, he was writing feverishly in his notebook, glancing up only a few times to ask a question. His head was down but he only looked up when he asked me anything. I would say he was cold but thinking back to it he was just as nervous as i was. From then on he was busy all the time; he was growing a business after all.

“And to finish up our goals for the next quarter will be to…” I’m so over this meeting, I can’t even pay attention. Carla will have a recap from Mr. Turner to send out to all of us by lunchtime. So now I use this opportunity to scan my co-workers. The IT department is all guys; there are six of them, five guys on my team, four guys on the debt counseling team, another four in the real estate department, and six on the stock broker team. I think that narrows it down to half…damn, half of our staff is guys, the other half is women. This is going to be a bit harder than I originally thought.

Short Story ~ Chapter 3

Chapter 3

“Abby you’re back!” Carla’s voices sears through me like a knife. She is a bubbly receptionist who loves to gossip, but she isn’t mean or hateful. I think that might be her way to get to know people. She can be intimidating; she stands about 5’ 10” and has long fire red hair that just brushes past her shoulders, I think she tries to match her finger nails to her hair, not that it bothers me. She looks like a model and I think she did that in her past life but it got out of hand from what I can remember. Somehow she ended up here at NS Turner & Associates.

“Hey Carla, yeah I guess I’m back”, my comments always seem to ooze sarcasm, I can’t help it. “What’s up?” I am praying she doesn’t ask about the flower I am holding or the ones at my desk, as happy as I am right now I do not want to talk about this.

“This came for you while you were out; I think it’s from who ever you are not seeing!” She is practically jumping up and down; this girl will be the death of me.

“Carla, I’m not seeing anyone nor am I not, not seeing anyone” I snapped this time.

“Oh, well it just seems…” I cut her off

“What is it?” My blood pressure starts to rise, why can’t she just leave these things on my desk like everyone else!

“I don’t know it’s in a box. I didn’t want to open your stuff” she sheepishly replied, dammit I didn’t mean to make her feel afraid to talk to me today. As nicely as I could I said

“Thank you for holding this for me, I am glad you thought to keep it safe.”

“No problem” she is beaming again. Whew that was too close. I take the box and head back. In the confines of my cubicle the smell of roses is strong and engulfs me like a soft sheet on a hot day.

“Hey Abby your cubicle stinks! When are you going to rid of those damn flowers?”

“Shut up Stephen, if I have to put up with your stupid jokes then you have to put up with my WONDERFUL flowers” I really lay it on thick how wonderful they are.

“Okay, but take them home, its making me nauseous” Stephen quipped back. He is the class clown in our group, he is always emailing dirty jokes and going on and on about his adventures to be like the guys from Jackass. I can’t believe he is still hooked on that, I am grossed out just thinking about some of the stuff he’s told me. To be honest I’m impressed he is still alive after some of his more daring stunts to copy those guys.

“Okay, I will tonight” besides I’d rather have these at home anyway, they are too beautiful to be stuck in this beige wasteland of cubicles and ‘motivational’ posters.

The rest of the afternoon zips by and soon enough it’s time to head out the door. Today I am going to be more aware of my driving; the Mystery Man’s words have been in the back of my mind all day ‘accident…orphaned…drive safely’. I run to the bathroom before I leave and when I get back there on my keyboard is a single peach rose. I couldn’t have been gone for more than five minutes, he has to be here. I look around and everyone is still at their desks, closing up shop. Carla catches my eye and smiles. She must have seen someone, I head straight to her desk…she knows who it is, she let them in. I HAVE TO KNOW!

“Carla, has anyone come in recently?” I ask with as little more gusto than I intended.

“Not while I’ve been here, why?

Shit, if I tell her why that's it on me, I’ll never get out of here. “No reason, I thought I heard someone asking for something” LIAR, she’ll know I know. She is just playing me right now; well I won’t crack…no way.

“Well I was just in the bathroom a few minutes ago but not for very long.” I can hear the wheels turning in her mind.

“Oh, never mind” I can play it cool too lady!

“Are you sure? Is there something wrong?” okay maybe I was wrong, she actually looks a bit concerned.

“No like I said I thought I heard something; anyways, good night Carla. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, don’t forget its ‘Hawaiian Day’ wear your best coconuts!” She can barely get the words out she is laughing so hard. Coconuts really, even the thought makes me laugh too.

“Oh yeah, I’ll bring my fancy grass skirt!” as usual dripping with sarcasm.

The company is trying to make our jobs more fun, boosting moral or whatever, except it’s mandatory that we participate so it takes away the ‘fun’ of it. I have been here for about ten years; I started almost right after college. I have seen this company do all sorts of moral boosting exercises but this last one is the worst!

I get back to my desk and gather my stuff, the vase of roses, which now include two additional roses, my purse and my box. I can’t believe I forgot about this box, just sitting on my desk undisturbed, patiently waiting to be opened. Well it will have to wait because now I am running late and I have to get the boys on time or there is a fee, a late fee so to speak, like a credit card. This always makes me laugh but I’m sure after being around multiple kids all day long I’d want assurances that they were picked up on time too!

Its just before six when I pick up Ben and Philip, they look like there are in the middle of creating their own masterpiece. Their hands are covered in all sorts of blues, reds and greens; they come to give me a hug but I jump back, blue hands plus grey slacks are not really in style this season. While they are washing up Ali runs me through their day, naps, lunch, painting and no time outs. The last bit of information is always a welcome surprise; she said they were very well behaved and polite all day and that whatever I was doing I should keep it up. ‘Could this day get any better?’

We get home and make dinner, well okay pizza again for the third night in a row but heck if they will actually eat it who am I to complain. After dinner they both help to clear the table without even being asked.

“Who are you and what have you done to my monkeys?” I question them but I am actually curious as to their dinnertime turn around.

“Oooooohhhhhhh Mmmmommmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyy!” Philip says with a sigh, our little game.

“Oooooohhhhhhh Pphhhhhhhhiiiiiiiillllllllliiiiiiipppppp!” I have to return it back or he gets a little ‘upset’.

“Mommy, stop it! You have to give us cookies!” That would be my little CEO. He is the most persuasive and exhausting kid you’ll ever meet and to top that he has the negotiating skills of a car salesman, but he is only five so I have to keep the upper hand. As hard as it is to say no to his cute face I have to keep him in line.

“Ben” using my serious mommy voice “I am sure there is a nicer way to ask for a special after dinner treat. Want to try again?” Of course I am going to give them cookies, I’d give them the moon if they asked for it but I’m still the boss of this place and I can’t lose that control.

“Mommy?” his voice is as sweet as honey; he makes me smile all the way through to my heart. “Can Philip and I plllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaasse have some yummy cookies for being sooooooooo good today?” His voice is so unnaturally sweet, I almost melt.

“Of course you can, just remember you have to be nice when you are asking for something special.”

“Okay!” he says that like he’s closed on a deal. “YAY!!!!!” my screamer in the background, always ready for a cookie, just like his dad.

For a minute I think I’m about to breakdown, looking at Philip is like looking at Adam. His eyes, his unruly hair, even his stature reminds me of Adam. He could have been a clone of his dad, except his temperament is all mine! I shake off those thoughts for tonight, we have our annual visit to Adam’s grave site in a few weeks and I really don’t want to feel bad the whole time leading up to it.

After the boys finish their cookies and head up to bed I remind them to go potty one more time because I am not coming upstairs again. I know that’s a lie and I am pretty sure that they know it too but it’s become part of our routine.

Tonight continues the bliss that was my day; well with the exception of my potential inquisition everything has been smooth. There was next to no traffic, my clients were oddly open to my suggestions and generous with their pocketbooks, my lunch was amazing, the boys were behaving like angels and I got flowers. The only way I can think to add to this day is a fully cooked meal. Usually I stick to cereal or frozen food dinners but I’m feeling like spoiling myself. On tonight’s menu is pan seared pork chops, cornbread stuffing, creamed spinach and cinnamon peaches for dessert. Okay it’s a bit much for one but I know Philip loves this meal and I can take the leftovers to work for lunch tomorrow.

It’s surprisingly early by the time I clean up and get to relax for the night. I grab my box from work and head for the living room. The box is sort of heavy; it’s not too large, maybe about the size of a wine bottle. I carefully slice the tape to avoid hitting whatever is inside.  

Short Story ~ Chapter 2

Chapter 2

‘Breathe’ I am holding my breath and now my brain is demanding me to breathe, but I can’t, he knows too much. After what felt like an eternity, I gasp for as much air as my lungs can hold. He obviously knew who I was but my kids, my last name, the fact I am now a Ms; I still use Mrs. Hamilton it’s easier for me and maybe for the boys though I doubt they even know I have a real name.

I am a wreck of emotions, scared for the fact he seems to know all about me. I am nervously racking my brain to see if my subconscious might have picked him out somewhere, maybe a face to this, someone who seemed to be watching me more intently than just as a bystander. Mostly I am excited, which is quite surprising. I feel the excitement deep in the core of my body, a kind of electricity I haven’t felt in almost two years and with that bring a flood of memories.

As I stare at the screen tears begin to roll down my face, I can usually shake them away dead in their tracks but tonight they pour freely, almost liberating themselves from the depths of my core. In just over two weeks it will have been two years since I lost Adam. He was my world; the sun rose and set with him each day. He made me feel safe, happy, loved and above all else cherished.

I could never believe we were actually married yet alone have these two amazing boys. He WAS ‘that’ guy, you know the type to always be there when you needed him, he would help you move even if his team was playing the Sunday night game, he was the one at the center of the circle at all of the parties, he could grill a mean steak and was absolutely worshiped by the kids. The guys wanted to be him, and many women wanted to be with him. ‘Sorry ladies he was ALL mine’. We got married on a hot August evening and as much as I hate the heat it was the best day of my life. We were surrounded by all of our family and friends, plus a few other guests…mostly the drunk dates of his fraternity brothers.

Now I know every bride says this but he was the best looking guy at that party all six feet of him dressed to the nines in that striking black tuxedo; a flash of white in his breast pocket and the gardenia in his lapel. I could tell he tried for much too long to control his unruly blonde hair as it sat on his head in a look usually reserved just for me. He never wanted to use products so when you have curl to your hair no matter how loose, the curl will always win. His crystal blue eyes caught mine as I made my way down the aisle, it was one of those TV moments, when the world around us faded away to soft fuzz and it was just me and him and the gentle sounds of the ocean to keep us together locked forever in that moment.

“BREAKING NEWS” gunshots heard at local apartment complex, we will be back after the commercial break’

What? Oh, I am still on the couch, my iPad still on that email but my tears are gone. What time is it; I keep losing hours of my day. Am I so programmed that I just skip through events? I haven’t even had dinner yet. Sigh, everyday just like the last. My response to the Mystery Man must wait, I’m starving!

Well being that it is now closer to eleven it has been decided that cooking is not in the cards for me. I settle on a bowl of cereal, oh jeez, if the boys only knew what I ate for dinner I’d never hear the end of it. I finish up and rinse my bowl, unfortunately the only one doing dishes around here is me so I’m trying not to create too much work for tomorrow. I let the news play on about how the local high schools chance at…who cares I’m focused on my reply.

‘Mystery Man,

As I am now well aware it seems you know a bit too much about me and I know nothing about you. I thank you for your concern over my driving skills, but I’ll have you know I have never been in an accident nor have I ever received a ticket. The fact that you are watching me and know mine and my children’s names is highly alarming to me and I would appreciate it if you discontinued contacting me.

MRS. Abigail Hamilton’

Well, not exactly what I really wanted to say but it’s better to get this out now. I don’t have time for a crush yet alone a stalker. ‘Ding!” my iPad notifies me of and incoming email just as I am about to turn it off for the evening.

‘MS. Hamilton,

Thank you for voicing your concerns, I would hate to start this without knowing your true feelings on the matter. But I cannot simply walk away, I’ve wanted to be with you for so long I can’t just let you slip away without even seeing what I have to offer, without at least giving us a chance to try this out. I have been admiring you long before Adam passed away, and your courage the past two years all alone with your boys has been inspiring. I remember the spark you once had in your eyes and I’ll be dammed if I never get to see it again. You see Abby, I love you and I will try everyday to show you how much. I couldn’t take seeing you upset day after day, slowly shrinking down to nothing any longer. I had to make my move, the first step so to speak. So please don’t delete me from your life, I promise I will make you whole again.

Always yours,

Mystery Man’

I hadn’t realized I was holding my chest; my breathing was slow but hard. Who is this guy, why does he care about anything I do, he doesn’t even know me how can he love me. Surely if he really thought I was in so much pain he would have tried to contact me sooner. Shrinking? Really, what does he mean by that. I’m finally at my goal, a size 5 and he thinks I’m shrinking! What does he know…well apparently a lot but I can’t, its’ not right! Who is he?

I am now wide awake, I can’t believe this happening. My husband just died, I have two kids, I am barely alive anymore and this guy swoops in and throws my humdrum life on its head. I grab the last bottle of chardonnay from the fridge and my favorite mug ‘World’s Greatest Dad!’ and fill it up. I need a break from thinking right now and wine seems as good an idea as ever. I think I drank half the bottle with that one cup but I really don’t care. I turn on the tonight show and pass out!

***

So just after six am on Thursday I finally throw myself out of bed, although I am sure I passed out on the couch last night I guess my auto pilot works even in my sleep. I not totally late yet, but I won’t have time for my marathon shower this morning, just a quick scrub down but somehow it is enough; I manage to pull myself together in fifteen minutes which reminds me of my high school days…hitting snooze until the very last minute. I haven’t slept this hard since I was in high school and it feels great! As I prepare for war with the boys I walk into their room and they are just sitting on their beds talking. Not a single fight this morning, just happy kids who very loudly wish me a good morning.

Today I don’t have a care in the world, if I make to work on time that would be great but I can’t say that I care either way. I’ve managed to check the boys into daycare just before seven and make it to work with five minutes to spare. I refuse to question my morning; it was the easiest I’ve had in forever, I would be lucky to have that happen again.

Work is the same, but today I am not greeted with an unwanted email. Thank god, I am not sure I would want to deal with that today. For some reason the office starts to buzz around ten thirty, I decide now is a good a time as any to take a break and see what the fuss is about. I grab my change and head for the break room, as I get closer to the group of my co-workers I can see why everyone is chatting. At Carla’s desk is a huge bouquet of light peach roses, at least two dozen. What a lucky girl, she just recently got engaged and her fiancé loves to send her flowers, Jake is a sweet guy, he has no idea what he’s getting into, as I chuckle to myself. Carla is a firecracker! I head straight to her desk to congratulate her again and the group quiets down to the point that we could be at a play together.

“Abby, you didn’t tell me you were seeing anyone!” Carla’s voice breaks the dead silence.

“I’m not”, why is she shaking her head at me?

“Well whomever you are not seeing, surely wants your attention, these beautiful roses are for you!” she seemed to exaggerate ‘whomever’ a bit more than I care for but I have to say something.

“Oh” is all I can muster, I look around at my co-workers and they all look sad, yes I know it’s been nearly two years but they still see death when they look at me. I can’t say I’ve really tried to get back to normal, like I was before the accident but I’m not exactly a mess either. Am I?

“Thanks Carla, I’m just going to grab a soda, can I keep these here for a minute. I’ll be right back.” I don’t really want to face her again but now I’m really parched.

“No problem, they smell amazing. Jake is sure going to hear about this tonight!”

Poor Jake he won’t even know what hit him, he already gave her the moon but women and flowers delivered to the office is a BIG deal around here. It almost always starts a riot. The crowd had disbursed and I grab my daily fix…Ice cold coke!

Luckily Carla is on the phone when I get back, she tries to stall me by waving her fire red manicured hand at me but I don’t want to talk to her about these, I need a minute to process them myself, so I grab the vase and head back to my desk.

I have to admit they are the most beautiful roses I have ever seen. They are bloomed to perfection, their color is my favorite; they look pink but they are indeed a soft peach with the ends of the petals a shade or two darker as they fray from the bud. They smell exactly as they should, soft, inviting, delicate and pure. I take a long deep breath to really engulf my senses and now am a bit euphoric. It’s the first time I’ve had flowers sent to my office that didn’t look like the standard condolence bouquet. I almost completely missed the card.

"Peach roses represent sincerity, I

meant every word I said last night”

M.M.

Of course they are from M.M, that makes me laugh, a bit too loud I might add. But the thought of him telling some flower shop girl Mystery Man must have scared him a bit. I’ll leave it at that; I am enjoying these far too much to be concerned or upset. I’m having a great day and I’m in no mood to screw that up!

Today I’ve actually managed to keep track of my time, its lunch and I’m feeling great so I head out, the day is too perfect to stay inside, and there is not a cloud in the sky. I make it to the park across the street and the guy with the sandwich shop on the corner greets me warmly as he prepares my usual, Turkey and cranberry. While he is making my sandwich we make small talk about the weather and how it’s not been too hot this summer so far, how his business is doing, how my boys are doing. He seems genuinely interested in all of his customers which probably explains why he’s stayed in business after so many corporate sandwich shops have popped open nearby. He finishes up and throws in a bag of chips at no charge as he winks at me…he never gives anything away…ever! I pay my bill and thank him for his generosity and then slip a five dollar bill in his tip jar. I don’t think I’ve smiled this much in, well forever.

At my usual bench in the middle of the park I set my stuff down and start to really enjoy the scenery. It’s not a big park and it doesn’t have a playground or anything but it is a quiet spot to people watch while I enjoy my lunch. Normally I work straight through lunch so coming out here is a treat and it feels like a long deserved one at that. It’s not as hot today as it has been this past week which is a relief to me. We are so spoiled in California, I am not sure we even have seasons out here. The weather is either perfect or just not as perfect, our trees green sooner and stay that way longer, and the hills don’t turn brown until summer is in full swing. All in all, it’s a little slice of heaven.

I hadn’t really realized how beautiful everything is today, maybe more so than ever before. The trees look full of life as several birds provide a symphony for my lunch. The constant parade of people before me has a gentle way about them that I’ve never seen before. No one is rushing, or yelling and no one looks angry which is something I usually pick up on right away. Maybe the earth is in some sort of calming constellation, whatever it is, it is a great day.

As my lunch break nears its end I start to collect my stuff, next to my bag I notice something that wasn’t there before, a single peach rose, just innocently placed on the bench next to my purse. I feel warm all over instead of panic, overwhelmed with joy where anxiety should be. All of the rational voices have left my mind and I am now feeling cherished. I look around and there is no one in sight, my personal parade had ended and the park now looks deserted. I grab the rose, my bag and head inside, somehow this rose smells even more amazing then the bouquet sitting on my desk. I’m not even sure how that is possible.

Short Story ~ Chapter 1

Chapter 1

5:20am, shit! Ten whole minutes before my alarm is going to go berserk, forcing me to start what I can only imagine will be a completely unremarkable Wednesday. I lay there waiting as the 10 minutes pass and stop the alarm before everyone is woken to the tune of an old fashioned telephone. As usual I haven’t prepared for the day; my clothes sit in a heap on the floor next to my bed. I grab what I hope will resemble an outfit that was picked out with purpose. As I head into the shower I think “Is this really it?’

Twenty minutes later I emerge from my too long but much enjoyed shower, get myself dressed and wrap my signature towel around my head. Into the boy’s room I know I’m in for a fight, how is it these two are awake at the crack of dawn on the weekends and yet when I need them up and coherent they instantly turn into 16 year old. Ugh, another obstacle to my day. Seeing as I don’t really want to face the day anyway I trudge through.

I somehow manage to get these two to daycare just after seven, and after 3 failed attempts to leave saying ‘One more kiss Mommy’, ‘One more hug Mommy’. I do love them more than I ever though possible but I do have to get to work so I plant one more kiss, dish one more hug and make my escape. The only time in my day that is 100% mine is my commute, since I’ve been feeling like crap I decide to go with the highway, one less thing to think about. Just like yesterday and the day before it is a tremendously boring ride. I belt out to my iPod not caring who is watching me try to master my all girls playlist.

All of a sudden I am at work it just before 8am and I’m not sure I could tell you exactly how I got here. Thank goodness for auto pilot! As I grab my keys and head into the door a feeling of dread looms over me, “Am I really here again?” I’ve set my stuff down started my computer and check the clock, surely it must be well past eight now…NOPE…ten minutes early…AGAIN! “This must be some sort of sign?” As I wait for my programs to load I grab my phone to check my personal emails.

So many subscriptions, I swear just to save 10% is really starting to fill up my time. I’ve deleted about 50 emails all trying to sell me some something or other ‘Buy 1 Get 1 Free!’, ‘Last Chance to Save!’; ‘Everything in the Store is 50% Off!’ just before I decide to select all and delete a subject line catches my eye:

‘Mystery Man – DON’T DELETE!’ Oh great, someone sold my email address and now I can only assume some Nigerian prince wants to send me his inheritance so long as I send him blah, blah, blah. Being in the financial world I always keep my eyes peeled for these types of fraud. I open the email so I know who to send it to for reporting:

My Dear Little Miss,

I have watched you look longingly out your window as you drive past me on this highway of life. When you pick up your coffee and occasionally while out to lunch. I dare not say hello because I fear you will see past me, through me, or not see me at all. I wish to I could fulfill your dreams and see a smile on your face again. I want to find that spark you once had in your eyes!

Forever Yours,

Mystery Man

What? Who? When did he say? My eyes dart around the office looking for this mystery man then I realize it is quite possible he has the wrong email address. I hardly ever get coffee or really lunch for that matter. I reply against my better judgment, clearly this guy is hung up on some chick and I rather not have to field any more of his emails. He is probably a stalker anyway…Yes most definitely a stalker!

Mystery Man,

I regret to inform you that you have the wrong email. I wanted you to know so you would not waste any more time filling my inbox and be set straight on your path.

Good Luck,

Not “My Dear Little Miss’

Back to reality, the thought of a secret crush definitely eased up my melancholy mood, the thrill of something like that…well it is exciting to say the least. Okay now, back to work, open Outlook, open Excel, open my browser, I am always waiting for programs. As I go though the countless emails…meeting requests, procedure updates, chain letters and of course Stephen’s daily dirty joke a new message pops up, no subject line:

No, Abigail I do not have the wrong email address. I look forward to ‘seeing’ you later!

“What the…?”

“I didn’t say anything!” Stephen sounding shocked at the loudness of my expression.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so loud” I thought I was talking to myself.

As I stare blankly at the screen my pulse begins to race. Who is this guy; I check the email address mysteryman@yahoo.com. It’s not much to go on but I’ll try my luck on Google. Well as I suspected thousands of results pop up, various news stories, movie reviews and of course the ever popular mystery man who was until recently showing up to the grave site of Edgar Allan Poe to leave three red roses and a bottle of cognac, he is know as the ‘Poet Toaster’; lots of listings and too many to scan through. I decide I should actually get some work done and soon enough I’ve worked straight through lunch and most of my day.

As the clock ticks five I gather my purse, phone and the printout of my earlier correspondence with Mysteryman@yahoo.com.  I am not even sure why I printed, I wonder how he got my work email, or my personal email for that matter! Does he know my phone number too? My Home Address? Oh Shit, my kids! Panic plows through me like a freight train, I have no idea what he knows or who this guy is.

I am not sure how I got here, the route I took or if I ran through any red lights or stop signs. I made it to daycare in twenty minutes, how fast was I driving? No I don’t want to know, my commute usually takes at least 45 minutes and that is when traffic is forgiving. It takes me about five minutes to compose myself; I take a few deep breaths and head inside. ‘MOMMY!!! Mommy’s here!!!....YAY!!!’ ‘Mommy I missed you!’ Okay, they are safe, a little overzealous but safe.

Sufficed to say the evening with these guys is the same…Dinner, a few kiddie shows, bath time and then bed. The monotony of my day is becoming a burden. I want to change things, but what my job, my house, my appearance for a moment I drift to my dreams; a large house overlooking the ocean, the sounds of waves crashing against the shore to lull me to sleep. It has a private beach and a huge backyard too, while I enjoy looking at the vast ocean it is not somewhere I will ever go swimming again especially after what happened…

“MOMMY” ahh, back to now, on my couch in our tiny house, Ben is yelling from his room at the top of his lungs.

“Mommy, I have to go potty!”

“Okay, I’ll be right there” sighing, I know he doesn’t have to go; he is just stalling the inevitability of bedtime. We do this dance every night; I am not sure why I would think that tonight would be any different.

It’s nearly nine pm now, the boys are finally out for the count, and it’s been a long day. I grab my book, my iPad and the remote and surf the channels, hoping tonight’s rerun of Grey’s Anatomy will be one I haven’t seen, I silently pray to the TV gods but to no avail, the same rerun I’ve seen one hundred times…okay maybe not one hundred but it sure feels that way. Okay, next device my iPad, I check Facebook hoping something interesting happened to one of the 80 or so friends I keep attached to my account, but alas their days seem to be as unremarkable as mine. Onto email I am very curious to see if my mystery man has emailed again. I am sorting through another series of sale emails, I swear I just cleared these out this morning but these guys are relentless, I think I get at least 3 emails from Target a day, then there is Babies’ R’ Us, Safeway…oh my god I seriously have to unsubscribe this is getting ridiculous! Then as if the world disappeared around me, only the subject line of his email was all I could see: Safety Ms Hamilton.

My dear Ms Hamilton,

I hope you arrived home safely, when you tore down the street I was concerned you might cause an accident. You can’t leave Ben and Philip without a mother too, they could have been orphaned! Whatever made you storm out of work must have been important and hopefully resolved by now. Please drive safely; I haven’t even had the chance to properly introduce myself.

Concerned,

Mystery Man

Personal Blog ~ My first blog!

So it begins...

First things first, as you can tell this is my first ever blog, as of yet I am not sure where this crazy train will take me. I am hoping not to get so wrapped up into it that I lose my actual reality. A little about me in case you you wanted to know. I am a 31 year old mom to two crazy boys...Myles & Oliver, I am married to my best friend Mark and a whole lot of other things. I work full time and spend my evenings trying to convince the boys to go to sleep, each side wins just as much as they lose...oh yeah and I love to use (...) this particular punctuation (ellipsis). I am a horrible speller and do not pretend to be a lover of grammar either. I am the class clown at work and the master of the comeback with my siblings, but I don't think I'm very funny, I just have impeccable timing! 

I've read other blogs about various topics some great, some insightful, some too hilarious for words. There is no way I can be those things all at once so I'm doing this for the fun of it. I'm no mommy blogger, but I will tell funny stories about my kids or from when I was a kid. That is what my blog will be, stories of my life, chapters from a Romance short story I'm writing, again for the fun of it, my observations of the world around me, bitter defense of books I'm reading because the characters are my family...lol, and a medium for me to get my thoughts out. 

I'm not an expert in any one topic, as a close friend of mine likes to point out, I know a lot of useless shit that only seems relevant when playing board games. True story! I can admit that I do thrive on knowledge the process is fascinating, I start my time looking for one answer only to learn so much more than I planned for. I write run-on sentences...obviously! 

Oh, the reason for the title I chose is I LOVE spaceballs, no one likes to watch it with me anymore because I say the lines with the movie and laugh before the funny parts even come on! 

So knowing all this, I will push forward. I might not be on here everyday but I will try to post once a week and if I don't that's okay too...just try to bear with me, I am still learning how to do this, any tips would be greatly appreciated!