Personal Blog ~ Working, Writing, Wishing!

Hello everyone out there in Cyber Space, I am not sure if you will be reading this in the near future or not but I wanted you to know I am working on the next chapter of the Short Story. Just last weekend I wrote 6 pages; granted the majority of those pages is dialogue between characters but still six is a big deal with all things considered.

If you are on my Facebook friends list you might also know that I am taking a writing class, this class is called 'Writing Essentials' and wouldn't you know it is all the stuff I was 'supposedly' taught in school. Well it has been an eye opener and I am so grateful I have the opportunity to advance my writing technique. The only drawback to this class is how much it has made me aware of my poor grammar and even worse spelling, but I am working on it!

I am trying a skill I read online about writing 'Hot Sheets', well I think that is what they are called but if not that's what I am going to call them. It is basically a tool you can use to clear your mind of all of the garbage that keeps you from being creative. I cannot speak for the masses but at any given moment I have about fifty things running through my mind. I tried this a few days ago at work, I didn't need to be creative but I was harboring quite a bit of resentment and I had a job to finish. So I took out a piece of paper and wrote all the things I was 'not thrilled' about and sure it even got a little mean. But, I was free. Free from my nasty attitude. Free from my sidetracked and chaotic thoughts and I was able to finish my task. I have since thrown that paper out...I think?

Okay, so that's a little about working and writing now onto the wishing. I recently finished the last book in a trilogy from S.C.Stephens, it was her Thoughtless series. The last book was titled Reckless and it was amazing, I couldn't put it down and when I had to all I could think about was how the story would progress and eventually end. I actually read her series out of order, by accident. The first book I read was Effortless and even that was a page turner. Then I read the 'first book' Thoughtless and it made everything else I had read make sense. But I couldn't help but wonder as I read all of these and other books "Why can't I do this?".

If you were to ask my mom twenty years ago (YIKES!!!) that when I was in my thirties I would want to be a writer I am sure she would laugh. She was always amazing at my abhorrent skills in English. She could never understand how I could even speak the language since I could not put simple sentences together. Lets not forget my horrific spelling either. (THANK GOODNESS FOR SPELL CHECK!) Well here I am thirty-two and wishing I had spent more time from my youth fine tuning my writing ability, but alas all I can do is try from here! So that is my wish, to be a writer. TO tell a story that is relatable to real live people, who sometimes think their kids are too much and they want to run away from home (what? That's not me!?!). People who live everyday in city's, town's and neighborhoods just like the average person walking down the street.

And I don't want my stories to be so close to actual life that they become some boring whatever, but I want someone like me, a wife, mom, daughter, sister, employee to want to read it and feel good. That maybe there is something out there for the rest of the world, we don't all find Billionaires while working at a hardware store, or meet the rock god of the century while waitressing in a bar and live happily ever after. (Just so you ALL know I still LOVE those books and I do not think of any of them in a negative way WHAT SO EVER, its what got me motivated to start here!) I also don't want it to be like one of those "I'm a mommy hear my reason for (fill in the blanks)!" I want to write fiction, romance maybe even a sci-fi based story. So we'll see what happens, thanks for tagging along I hope you enjoy what will come!

I PROMISE! I AM WRITING!

Personal Blog ~ Hiatus

Well folks it's been quite a while since I posted anything, October to be exact. Part of the 'break' in posting has been a break in my thought process. In early October my biological grandfather passed away and not to delve too deeply into that story, I took it a bit harder than I thought I would. He and I have only been speaking in the last two years or so, and we were only just starting to get to know each other. Sure I knew he was a postman but I didn't know anything about him. His favorite topic of discussion was my sons, he would ask about them often and relished in the fact he could be a part of my life via the world wide web. Now I know I am not the only person on this planet to lose a family member, I had already lost 3 grandparents by the time Sidney passed away, but this one hurt a bit more.

When my nanny and papa died I was a teenager, I was sad but in a very private way. My mom didn't think I really cried for them when in actuality it was in my daily repertoire, I would see things that reminded me of my papa and I would start crying. This went on, well hell it still does. When my nanny died I was around 16, not exactly an age known for compassion, at least not to my knowledge at the time. It was a hard time for me then too, I hadn't fully recovered from my papa and then we were back in Florida this time packing everything away.

We barely made it to Florida in time before she passed away, my mom and I had to pack her apartment (with the help of a moving company). Going through her stuff was part hysterical and part sad, she had more polyester suites than I had ever seen in my life. She had a drawer that was full of lottery tickets, she was unlucky to have family in the area who intimidated her out of her possessions after my papa passed away. There was the glass trunk of elephants that I had known over the many years of spring break visits when I was younger. The weird bottles of alcohol shaped like gorillas, clowns, I think a Buddha and a few others I can remember. Her extra bathroom shower was a storage closet for paper towels and toilet paper I think. Her master bathroom was filled of the free gift with purchase make up bags and little samples. All in all it was interesting to learn about who she was when I was older though now all of the little things I knew were different, I got to see her life though her possessions and by what she chose to collect.

Only a few years ago my Jidoh passed away, he was fairly old...no one really knows exactly how old he was. But he was another amazing person in my life...sure we didn't speak the same language but I knew he cared about all of us very much. Plus he was the second best cook I know. He made the worlds best humus, and he was always concerned about everyone's time. I'm sure if I knew what he was saying he would have been a riot too. He had 10 kids, I mean that's a got to be a story in itself. He was active and would be up before everyone either getting pita bread for my dad or getting his arghile ready. (For those of you who don't know what that is, its a hookah. If you don't know what that is you can Google it). Though I never had it I know he liked this extremely strong coffee and for fear of causing a major war I'm not going to try to remember what they called it. He had a few birds, I think they were canary's and watching him with them you could see a compassionate man who really cared about other people. That is at least how I saw him. Sure there are other stories but I am getting off topic.

So why does this matter to my lack of posting, well I didn't know Sidney. It wasn't until I found out that he passed away that I really got to know him. My aunt read my cousins memorial reading and I was barely able to keep my composure. He had a crazy sweet tooth and my whole life has been revolving around candy, no one else in my family has the same affliction. He loved to buy things off of infomercials, and I am sure if I had the financial backing my house would have the magic bullet, the gazelle and who knows what else. He was a fun grandpa, he would pick up my cousins from school and take them to McDonalds for a treat, they got to have sleepovers with my grandparents. For a recent birthday they took him to Dave & Busters and from what I have been told he had a blast.

Everything I've learned about him has come from someone else, I do not have stories to tell. I know this sounds selfish and I could really care less about that. I didn't get a chance to know him, I put off visiting because the weather, the cost, other trips planned, insert useless reason here and then it was too late. He died and I never got to meet him. Sure when I was very young I met him, stayed with them and the whole nine yards but I cannot remember anything from that visit except a conversation I had with my aunt about having a frog in my throat. My aunt tells me he is with me anyways, that as long as I think of him he is with me...I'd like to tell you I believe that but that's not what I feel.

It took a lot out of me, I am a mother now. I worry what kind of relationship my boys will have with their grandparents. I hope that one day when facing this stage of life they are fully equipped to handle it. That they will get to know their grandparents as much as they want to. That my mom can tell the boys stories about me I wish she hadn't. That my dad will be at their graduation harassing them about college and becoming a doctor. That my husbands parents will get to meet their future girlfriends, wives, children.

Death is not easy, no one can tell you exactly how you will feel on any given day. No one can say how long you are going to look at elephant figurines and think of your grandparents. No one can tell you how many times you are going to sit through the Wizard of Oz because it reminds you of your visits to sunny Florida. No one has the answers, so this is why I seemed to fall off the face of the web.

Prior to his death I had been losing weight and starting to be okay with my life and where it was headed. I was writing a story and putting it out in the world for other people to read. If you are reading this then you have probably read this story. It is not easy to put yourself out there like this. Sure I have the anonymity of the web but that's not how I chose to do this. Since he passed away the weight is back, and my outlook has taken a turn. His death was not the only stress in my life around October, but it was the catalyst, the straw that broke the camels back.

I made it though the holidays, and into the new year. I can only hope that this new year brings new opportunities. And with all of this I am staring to write again, its taking a lot longer than I would like, I am definitely over analyzing every word I write, and a few papers have been sent to the circular file but I am writing, I will have more of the story to tell, I am moving forward...as slow as it is I am moving. So please bear with me and have patience...greatness takes time! 

Short Story ~ Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After a few hours of actual work I figure out how I am going to narrow down the guys. I am going to find a way to interact with them directly and casually ask questions, it’s going to be so easy. The first obvious choice is Owen; since we already have a close friendship I’ll start with him and see if he wants to have lunch today. I send him a quick email.

Owen,

Hey what’s going on today? Do you want to have lunch? I heard Chili’s has an awesome deal. Let me know.

Abby

That’s not too bad, casual and completely within our normal realm of friendship. What am I going to say if he says yes, how can I ask him without asking him and letting him know my intentions. Oh my, what if it is him, am I ready to go down this path. All of a sudden I have lost whatever confidence I started with this morning. The prospect of meeting my Mystery Man in the flesh and knowing who he is has actually made me very nervous. My stomach is in knots and I have an overwhelming feeling to leave, to go home and hide under my covers. I realize its one thing to correspond through email but to face my admirer is the most terrifying thing I have had to do in many years. Realizing I was on the verge of a panic attack I rushed to the bathroom to compose myself.

After what felt like an eternity, Carla comes into the bathroom, “Hey Abby, are you okay? I saw you run in here a while ago.”

“Oh, Carla, thanks but I am okay, I think I may have had a bad pineapple or something. My stomach is a little upset” I try to sound as put together as I can.

“I think I have some pepto if you need it, it’s at my desk. I’ll be right back”

Before I could tell her no she was out the door. I grab some paper towel and try to blot the sweat off of my forehead. Somehow, I’ve managed to slow my breathing and adjust my dress back to normal just as she came back.

“Here you go sweetie, I’m sure it wasn’t the pineapple. I’ve had five pieces myself” she’s almost accusing when she says it.

“Maybe you’re right; I did have some other junk this morning” in reality I don’t think I really ate anything, I was on a mission. She hands me the pink bottle of chalk…or Pepto, depends on your opinion of the stuff and I take a chug to appease her and keep my lie intact.

“I hope that helps, if you need anything let me know, I’d better get back. And by the way, nice Lei, I didn’t seem them handing out the nice ones this morning” and with that she leaves me alone again. I wash my hands for what can only be the tenth time and go back to my desk.

I had not even settled back to my desk when Owen stops by and lightly knocks on my cubicle wall.

“Hey Abby, you still up for lunch?” he was almost too quiet to hear.

“Of course Owen, I wouldn’t have asked only to turn around and cancel!”

“Can you go now? I have to be back for a one o’clock meeting with some new vendor, trying to sell me more useless software” he seems a bit nervous, or maybe I am so nervous I am projecting onto him. Who knows?

“Sure, let me grab my purse, who’s driving?”

“Me of course, you drive like a maniac” he said it with so much conviction and gives me a clue, he knows how I drive…good to know.

“Whatever Owen, I’m not a bad driver. Let’s go!”

When we get out to the parking lot his truck is not hard to spot. I think he drives a ford but I don’t really know or care for that matter. It’s black with black tinted windows, it sort of looks like trouble of course if trouble was a truck. The fact that it is the only truck in the lot makes me laugh. He doesn’t really use it for the purpose intended but you can’t take farm boy out of him just because he is in sunny California. He’s not really a farm boy but the town he grew up in was more ‘down south’ than anything and I think it was required that every person drove a truck.

The drive was silent, I found myself thinking about what my life would be like if the Mystery man turned out to be Owen. Would he care for my kids as if they were his own? Would he be a good fit into our lives? We get along great but, is that enough? I’ve haven’t thought of anyone other than Adam in that way. I don’t know if I can think of Owen as a potential lover I only see him as a brother, or at least I have until very recently. I hope this lunch might be able to help shed some light on my feelings about him.

We get to Chili’s in about ten minutes and are able to snag a table just in time. Somehow we barely beat the lunch rush and our food comes in record time. We chat about the recent changes at work, our vacation plans for the rest of summer. He asked how Ben and Philip are doing, and when did Ben start kindergarten. Nothing seemed out of ordinary in our conversation. Yes he knew a lot about my life but I knew a lot about him too.

“So Owen, are you seeing anyone right now?” I had to start the real questions before we finished lunch.

“No. Not really anyways. I do have this one girl but she doesn’t seem to be interested in anything more than friendship…another one for the friend zone!” he kind of laughs. He is so sweet and apparently the girls he meets like him too much to ruin that with any sort of romantic feelings. It makes me wonder who he is talking about. If it’s me and I keep pressing this line of questioning he will be onto my game, if he’s not MM and I keep going he might think I’m onto him. Okay so I’m over thinking things a bit. I could be into him but if he is not MM I could be missing out on something deeper. Ugh, this sucks, dammed if I do, dammed if I don’t. I decide to let this go, my quest to figure out who MM might be won’t end in a good way. I’ll either lead people on or expose myself too soon.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you will find the perfect girl for you and your days in the friend zone will be over” I’m trying to be positive without sounding insincere; I really do think what I just said. I hope he finds the right girl.

“Thanks Abby, I think I know that’s true but it feels like every girl I’ve met just wants my friendship and nothing more.” He is starting to sound pretty down on himself.

“You know, sometimes the best relationships start from solid friendships” I really do feel that way, that’s how Adam and I stared. He was offering tours of the campus to incoming freshmen when I first met him. His tour was more personal anecdotes about all of the building then actual facts, but he was so charming and cute. After the tour he came up to me and asked if I wanted to grab a cup of coffee and I said yes. I didn’t really know anyone at the school and he was so nice, so I went. We ended up spending hours just talking, about life, school, our families and so much more. Not too long after that first cup of coffee we started dating.

“I guess I should reevaluate my friend list” he said that with actual hope in his voice.   

“Yea, maybe you could already have ‘the one’ in your arsenal of friends” now I realize my fears, he might think I mean me, so I change the subject “I think we’re running out of time, we should head back. I don’t think your vendors would appreciate being stood up”

“You’re right, let me just grab the check. Lunch is on me today, I really enjoy getting to hang out with you outside of the office”

“Owen, that’s not necessary. Let me pay, I am the one who asked you remember?”

“No way Abby, I think I needed this lunch break with you more than whatever reason you needed it with me.”

“But Owen-“he cut me off.

“You can get the tip” I can tell he is not going to be argued with today so I throw a ten on the table.

“Let’s get out of here, I need to get ready for my meeting” Owen suddenly has the urgency of a racehorse.

“Okay: and with that we are off and back to work by 12:45. We part upon entering the office; I can see three executive looking guys waiting near the lobby so they must be here for him. I get to my desk and unlock my system. Not surprisingly I have several emails from the short amount of time I was gone. I feel like I should have an assistant just to go through my emails, but then I would have had to explain the new one from MM. With a subject line: LUNCH?

So Abigail,

I hope you enjoyed your lunch, I’m sure based on his expression Owen did as well. But just so you don’t go falling in love with the wrong guy, He is not me! I thought you would try to figure out who I was but not so quickly. I hope you do not keep tempting me to come to your desk and make myself known to you or better yet I could throw you over my shoulder and take you away from here for the weekend. I was able to keep away from you when Adam was alive, I had the utmost respect for him and your marriage but now I can’t stand idly by while you try to figure out who I am by having lunch dates and who knows what else. I know you enough to know you are not ready for me or anyone for that matter, please do not rush this, it will happen and when it does I promise you will be happy and prepared for it.

Overly anxious,

Mystery Man.

Is he serious, I don’t know if I am okay with the jealousy thing? Its one thing to be infatuated but jealousy is not becoming on a man. I went though a phase in my life of jealousy, of course I was a teenager and I thought my boyfriend was cheating at every turn but it was ugly. I was ‘that girl’ the one who called every ten minutes, the one who would start flying accusations left and right over nothing. I would not eat for days just thinking that he was out there with any girl who batted her eyes at him. But when we were around each other it was worse, I was clingy and pathetic, I became submissive to him, not in the whole bondage thing and he didn’t abuse me or anything but I became a stupid girl. Whenever he asked for anything I would get it or do it, looking back I was glad it happened so early in my life.

As it turned out I was right, he was cheating on me and with most of my friends or so called friends. I went though a major attitude shift, I became empowered, I knew what I had to offer was a gift and I was not going to let just anybody have a part of my heart that didn’t completely deserve it. But as I said jealousy is not an emotion I like to be around. I write back, maybe a bad idea as now I’m completely heated and ready to go…toe to toe!

Dear Sir,

I hope that what you said in your email was meant as a joke, I do not like when a man in my life is jealous. I appreciate you respecting my marriage and I had hopped that by choosing to communicate back with you that you would know I was at least interested to see where this goes. I am a grown woman who up until very recently hasn’t even had an inkling to jump back into the dating pool, and if by some unfortunate circumstance I find someone who is not you simply because they were not afraid to introduce themselves to me or to mess up my delicate life up someway then that is my decision. You know all about me, you know I am stubborn, you know I would be trying to figure out who you are and you think that sending me an email saying you can’t stand ‘idly by’ is going to somehow make me stop looking you are wrong. I am good at getting what I want and right now I want to know who you are. So do what you will with that information. And please try to keep your jealousy in check.

Abigail

There, that will show him I am not some fragile little child. I was okay before all of this, I wasn’t really putting myself out there and now everything is changing. I still have tremendous feelings for Adam; I have not dealt with his loss as much as I should have. We have two small children, and our families are on the other side of the country so it’s been me, taking care of two small children, trying to get through my life. He has made me come to some conclusions about my life, I have been in hiding. It has been easier to block my feelings away then to face them. And in a few weeks I am taking the boys to see their dad and it always takes me a few weeks to settle back into a routine after we visit. I am not coping well with everything and now I find out MM is the jealous type. This day has been a roller coaster of emotions; I think I’ve hit them all. I am just glad my day is almost done and I can just hang out with the boys this weekend and not think about any of this. It has been the strangest and most dizzying three days of my life in many years and I need the weekend like I need air.

My computer dings at me and I see the email, I wished I hadn’t sent my charged reply, my mom always says to write your feeling then sleep on them, if you still feel the same in the morning then you can send it…why do I never listen to her I’ll never know.

Overreacting Much?

Abigail,

I hope you really don’t think I am someone who can get easily intimated by a woman, of course I know you. I know you more than you know yourself. I know you have been suffering; I know you have no one here to help you. I know that every time I see you I want to erase your pain and make you the happy woman I met all those years ago. I know that my life would be empty without you and while you have had no idea I feel this way it has been enough for me to see you every day, to hear you with your clients laughing and wishing I could sit with you and laugh with you. I am jealous, I will admit it. When I saw you leave with Owen I was hurt, I know you are trying to get to the bottom of this Mystery but I do know that you had second thoughts. I saw you run for the bathroom before you went to lunch; I know you were in there for far too long to only be using the facilities. I can only imagine how much over thinking you are doing about this whole thing, and I would bet that you have already created your list of every guy in this place just to try and figure out who I am. I know this because I know you, I love you and I will continue to keep this a mystery for as long as I think you need me to. I am here for you and if you need to be angry then I am here for that too. I am not going to run away because you think you don’t like my method. And I am sure as hell not going to let you parade around the office with every eligible bachelor in this place. And by the way…Challenge Accepted!

Love Always,

Your Mystery Man…Always

I’m not sure what to make of that, I am not mad or whatever feeling I had when I replied to him but I am something. I don’t know why but he makes me feel safe when all the warning bells say I shouldn’t let my guard down. Is he serious, how he can be so certain, I am a damn mess my emotions are all over the place, sometimes I think I am bi-polar when it comes to this situation. One minute I’m trying to over-sexify my self to flush him out, then I’m terrified of meeting him, he emails me a slightly possessive email and I overreact to nuclear proportions then I’m resenting myself for sending the email in the first place. I cannot believe how crazy this is making me. It’s turning me into a damn hormonal teenager! I am only too grateful my day is over; I forward this email conversation to my personal email and close up my workstation. I have never wanted to get home to my boys as much as I do right now.

Personal Blog ~ Randomness ~ Craziness!

For those of you who came here to read chapter 6 I promise to post it by Sunday...if not sooner. I wanted to get some stuff out of my mind an onto paper or the Internet, not really personal stuff but maybe more observation. Yesterday I purchased Reflected in You by Sylvia Day around noon and finished it up about an hour ago (8pm) I read Bared to You and really enjoyed it. But all of this, reading and writing really stared in April of this year.

 Out of pure curiosity I bought the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and held onto it for a while, it wasn't until April that I stared reading it. To say it all went downhill from there is an understatement. As many friends or family members can tell you I am not very 'Emotional' unless you're looking for anger then I'm your gal. But I've had my nose in some sort of book so to speak since that time. I breezed through Fifty Shades in about a weeks time, then I felt lost so to speak, it seemed like everything in my life was crap compared to Ana and Christian. But then whose isn't, he is a fictional character, he isn't a billionaire obsessed with some fresh college grad but that didn't matter....for a while I compared everything in my life to the story...not healthy.

Then I decided one day out of the blue to write my own story, it's no secret fifty isn't  a literary masterpiece, I think EL James used the word 'clamber' a hundred times but that didn't matter to me it was reading her story then reading an amazing fan fiction take on Christians POV that really got me going. My thought was that what James did was make a story she enjoyed and wrote it in a way she was comfortable writing. So my story was born out of the stream of consciousness type of writing I like, sometimes my character is narrating sometimes not.

Recently I was asked why I was writing a story, for what purpose. I actually have been thinking about that question for a while, and to be perfectly honest I have no idea. After fifty shades I read Bared to You, out of order I also read Effortless and Careless by SC Stephens, the whole Hunger Games trilogy, a whole series, well most of it, called Bound Hearts by Lora Leigh, a story that turned out to be about an alien but not the typical green man from mars or anything, and a few other short stories. A while back I went though most of Nicholas Sparks novels and while I get sucked in every time and cry like a baby as well I realized what these people have done is create another world, a temporary vacation for my mind and I want to do that for someone too.

A close friend said she hopes to see some 'smut' which makes me laugh, I thought about that but it just seems so weird to type words like, well it's even to weird to sample them here...sometimes I think I have the maturity of a fifth grader who just heard the word boobies out loud. But for my story I want it to feel real, in the aforementioned books they are all pretty unrealistic characters. Naive, overbearing, aggressive, etc, not that I don't have feelings for every character in these books. I feel their sadness, their joy, their anxiety everything. I can see the places in my mind the authors describe, I can smell the scents they portray, I get into the stories I read, sometimes to a fault. In Nicholas Sparks books there is always a tragedy and a small beach town in one of the Carolina's and a moving love story. In fifty, to me it's about an unimaginable love, a painful love at best and Bared to You is fan fiction from fifty. Hunger games is the whole dystopian theme obviously and while that series seemed to be the most plausible it's still fiction.

My short story is fiction, it's romance obviously and it's about love...but the characters feel normal to me, like someone you might know, or someone you could imagine being friends with. So my answer becomes I write this for people who want a story that isn't focused on some pert blonde with too big boobs and a small waist, for a person who had something bad happen but they came through the other side, not unscathed but stronger. It's hard to imagine what people think of my writing, I've received only positive feedback thus far and am anxious for when the story evolves and it either becomes great  or a huge mess but I know that I'm doing this for me, I'm sharing this because why not, if you like it you'll keep reading, if you don't you'll stop either way I'd love to hear from you...all of you in the nine countries my blog is being read from. Thank you for taking this journey with me and I'll do my best to keep it coming on a more regular schedule!

Short Story ~ Chapter 5

Chapter 5

After what feels like the longest meeting of all time we are dismissed and head back to our desks. When I get back I check my calendar for the day, luckily I only have two client meetings and three calls to make and that itself is n0ot for at least two hours. I could use this time to catch up on my clients files but I’ve already hit the point where I won’t be able to focus on anything but figuring out who the Mystery Man is.

Now there are several things in my life I’m a perfectionist at and this is one of my favorites. I find the latest employee phone list and use it to create an excel worksheet to help narrow down the field. One column lists the departments they are in, the next column is their names, the third lists their marital status, the fourth column lists how long they have been with NS Turner & Associates and the last column notes if they are wearing Hawaiian shirts since the Mystery Man said he would be in ‘his best Hawaiian Shirt”.

So first is the Debt Counseling team, luckily they only have four guys: Tyler, Anthony, Tristan and Parker. I know Tyler and Parker are married so they are out, even if they were my mystery guy I refuse to be crushed on by a married man. Anthony is new to the company and besides that he is very young, I think maybe only twenty-one or twenty-two. He is very charming and cute which I think helps him acquire new clients but he is still fresh in the world. So that leaves Tristan, he and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. I know he is on of the first guys in the company from what I remember Tristan was the one who insisted that debt counseling was just as important as retirement planning. He is about six feet tall and has the most amazing long brown hair, it is just to his shoulders but it always looks so healthy. He keeps it in a very low manly ponytail, sometimes in the light it looks like it has naturally red undertones, personally I am not a fan of long hair on guys but Tristan can pull it off. He looks like he could be a model for shampoo commercials.

Okay, so I have Tristan on the potential list, not too bad so far so I move on to the Real Estate team. Their function is to try to help our clients avoid foreclosure, let them know when it is a good time to refinance, assist is finding investment properties and a whole multitude of other services that I can’t seem to care about right now. Again this team only has four guys: William, Cameron, Samuel and Logan. As I am narrowing down these guys it strikes me as off that none of them go by obvious nicknames. This department is really easy, Cameron has been with his partner for three years now and they have been actively taking about adoption so I’m pretty confident it is not him. Logan and Samuel are married and William is engaged to his fellow team member Lucy. The company is pretty flexible on interoffice romance; the only requirement is that you notify HR of any budding relationships. Somehow now that seems rather convenient. 

My group is next, the Financial Advisors. Even though every client in the company is assigned to one of us there are only eleven people on my team. Of the eleven of us five are guys, of course there is Stephen, and all I can think is “Please GOD NO!” he is too much, he is nice enough and fairly attractive but it would never and could never, I can’t even think about that one…yuck! That leaves John, Max, Daniel and Evan. Well right off the bat John and Evan are out being married and such. Max is more like a dad to the rest of us and he only been here a few years but he does retire next year and I’m pretty sure Margot his wife wouldn’t appreciate him sending me flowers and a bottle of the beach.

That leaves Daniel, now that’s an interesting prospect. He has been here longer than me so that one, he is single so that’s two and since he is nothing like Stephen its three points in his columns. He is just slightly taller than me but not by much, he is nice, a little quiet and yet has the most clients in our department. He has blonde hair, bright blue eyes and has the whole high school quarterback thing going for him. He has a muscular build and is usually dressed to impress. Today he happens to be wearing a nice pair of dark blue jeans, a silk Hawaiian shirt and a pair of tan topsiders, he looks like he could have just stepped off of his yacht, he doesn’t actually have one I think but he looks like he could.

So far I have only narrowed it down to two guys Daniel and Tristan. Next is the obvious department, IT, they are all guys and there are six of them: Owen, Justin, Jason, Isaiah, Christopher and Greg. So Jason and Christopher are married leaving them incompatible to my search. Justin just started dating some new girl in his apartment complex “gosh, why do I know all of this meaningless stuff about everyone”. Greg and his wife just finalized their divorce so I doubt he is the Mystery Man, no actually I hope he isn’t that would be a little too creepy for me. That leaves Owen and Isaiah as potential Mystery men. I don’t think it is Isaiah mostly because he is the newest one here and I can’t say that I ever see him yet alone talk to him. Owen on the other hand is starting to seem like the guy more and more.

Owen is always the one who comes to help when my computer is acting up, he even helped me reprogram my phone after Ben somehow managed to switch everything to Chinese and permanently cause my screens to read upside down, rest assured that was the last time he ever touched my phone. It took nearly four hours but Owen was able to restore everything, even my old and last few text messages from Adam. Sometimes he will just come by to chat so it is possible he is the one, we have shared a lot about each other and we have lunch together on occasion. He is tall, at least six foot two or three, but he isn’t lanky by any standards. He has broad shoulders and a lean waist. I know he likes to work out, he told me once he likes to enter marathons as often as he can. The very idea of running for no real reason seems silly to me, my exercise is keeping up with Ben and Philip. Owen has straight longish brown hair that he always wears to the side, it not really long just average length, why is men’s hair so complicated? Mine is easy, long mahogany brown, at least that’s what the box says. It goes to my lower back and is naturally straight, no layers, no bangs just long boring hair. I’ve thought about changing it but I can’t think of anything else I’d want to do with it.

Back to Owen, I think he is from South Carolina or is it North, I can never remember. Although he has been in California for a long time he still has a slight southern drawl to his voice, more like south adjacent not the full on ‘Howdy Ma’am’ you’d expect. I think he has been here since he was a kid, after his mom and dad spilt up she decided she wanted to be an actress so them came out to California, for some reason they were in San Francisco and she fell in love with the city, I must admit it is no hard to do. So after that they just stayed in the area. So obviously I ‘know’ Owen but I am sure I would have picked up on something by now, right?

The last team are the stock brokers, I’m not sure about them because this is a fairly new group to the company. A few of them have been here for a while just in other areas. The guys in this group are Noah, Connor, Jack, Cole, Brandon and Thomas. First off Jack and Cole are married, and Noah works from an office in San Francisco so he wouldn’t be able to see me do anything like lose weight or storm out of the office. Brandon is gay so that ones pretty simple. That leaved Connor and Thomas. It could really be either one of them, they both stared before me under a general advisor title, I think they actually have been with the company since the beginning.

My phone rings pulling me out of my current task, its Carla letting me know I have a delivery, with no return address like yesterday. She seems to be a little too excited about my incoming mail, I know I can’t keep doing this with her, she is going to ask and I’m not ready to spill the beans just yet. I go to her desk and luckily she is on the phone so I sign for my box and head back to my desk. On the box in bold red letters it says ‘OPEN IMMEDIATELY – PERISHABLE’ so I open the box to find the most luxurious looking lei I have ever seen. It is made with tons of pink hibiscus flowers and smells wonderful. The card on top says:

‘You are far too beautiful to be wearing a plastic lei’

Instead of looking around to hope I catch a glimpse someone a little too interested in my delivery I just slip it over my head and continue my investigation. Where was I, oh yeah Connor and Thomas the last two on my list. Connor is fun, every time we have a company function whether it is a meeting, a birthday, a dinner or lunch he is the life of the party. He is so friendly and I’d bet he doesn’t have an enemy in the world. He is just barely six feet tall, he has short auburn hair that looks brown but in the right light you can see lots of red. He is very tan, but not from a bottle or a tanning booth, he likes to surf a lot. He said he likes to go out every weekend, he even brags how he once competed in the Mavericks competition but I’m not too sure about that one. But I DO know he has the physique of a surfer, but I only found out this morning when we all saw a bit more of him than usual. He decided to come in wearing a grass skirt, sandals, a puka shell necklace and nothing else. He did get everyone’s attention, including mine. With that confidence though I seriously doubt he would be hesitant to introduce himself to me as the Mystery Man.

That leaves Thomas, funny enough he is sort of a mystery himself. Like I said he has been here long enough to fit the criteria and we do talk but it mostly about the stock market. I usually try to steer away from that particular topic, its not that it isn’t fascinating but it just really bores me, I can’t help it. He on the other hand keeps to himself and never goes to company events other than meetings. He is on the shorter side, but not shorter than me. He looks like he could be a spy, his eyes are dark and his hair is dark too almost black. He is one of the only guys with facial hair at the company and it is what I can only describe as overgrown five o’clock shadow, no mustache, no beard or goatee or whatever you want to call it, and its not very long…like I said overgrown five o’clock shadow. Although I am not a fan of facial hair it really suits him very well. He wears modern looking black frame eyeglasses, the plastic looking type. He also always wears a suit and from what Carla has says they are the expensive ones. He has a muscular build but doesn’t look bulked up but aside from how he looks I don’t know much about him, as I said he keeps to himself.

Well I take a look at my spreadsheet and realized I’ve narrowed it down to just four guys: Daniel, Tristan, Owen and Thomas. I just hope I am right about these guys. Once I finish my list I check my work email, after all I am being paid to be here. There is Carla’s meeting recap, which I am glad to say I didn’t ‘miss’ much, Stephen’s joke, today it’s Hawaiian themed and after skimming through I see the punch line ‘Because it’s spam’ – DELETE. One of my regular clients is asking about our appointment next week and a few gossipy ones from Carla about her weekend and Jake, and can I believe what Connor did today. Just as I am about to lock up my computer I get a new email from Mystery Man, the subject reads: Hawaiian Lei

Abigail,

I hope you liked the lei I had sent for you, it was a crazy coincidence that you happen to be wearing the flower in your hair to match, I swear! You look absolutely breathtaking today, it took all of my strength to not come up to you this morning after the meeting but you practically ran from the conference room. I did however see you poke your head over your cubicle more than once this morning, you’re not trying to figure out who I am, are you? Not that I wouldn’t be surprised, you have never been the type to just let life happen, at least not on your terms. I am curious to know if you have figured out who I am yet. Surely you have at least narrowed down your choices. So, will you enlighten me and tell me who I am? I’d love to know.   

Forever yours,

Mystery Man

Haha, tell him who he is, not a chance in hell! I reply to him right away.

M.M.

First thank you for the flowers, all of the flowers; the roses are exquisite and I am still trying to figure out how you managed to drop one with me while I was at lunch. The lei smells so wonderful it reminds me of being in Hawaii, and the beach in a bottle is so thoughtful. I think I like the starfish the most. I did try to email you last night to thank you for everything but I couldn’t find the words I wanted to say, to be honest I still can’t. Your letter made me think about who I was before Adam passed away and I know I have changed, but to be fair, who wouldn’t under those circumstances. I have closed myself off to most of the people in my life and then you came along, I hadn’t realized how much I have been missing, each day the same as before and I had no reason to change. Your attention over the last few days has felt like a wake up call to life. I don’t know how long you plan on being a mystery but thank you just the same. I do hope you don’t wait for too long but I now sort of understand why you are keeping your distance. And yes, obviously I am interested.

Nervously waiting,

Abigail

I can hardly believe I sent that, maybe it was the exactly right thing to say. I still love Adam very much and I have been afraid that if I even open myself to the possibility of another man in my life I would forget him and everything we had. I would forget his laugh or the way he tried to look like he was paying attention when his team was playing. Forget how the boys would break into a deep belly laugh at the very though of the tickle monster being woken up. Forget how he would get the boys up early on Sunday mornings to go to the park so I could sleep in. Forget our lives together, it’s to scary to think about so I haven’t, I just shoved those feelings deep down inside and pushed though my life, one day at a time. I didn’t think I would need to have another man in my life, ever and then MM enters and my whole mindset has changed. If what he says is true and he does really know me as he claims maybe I could walk down that path, maybe one day I could open my heart to the love it deserves and accept the love from another. Maybe the boys would be accepting too. The boys are another reason I’ve shut down, they are so young they will probably forget Adam, they didn’t have a lot of time with him and all I have are memories, lots of photo’s and a few videos to share.

I wonder how it will be for them as they enter school, kids don’t really understand why some kids have a mommy and not a daddy. Sure they get the whole I have two daddies or two mommies but the whole single parent thing might be troublesome. Will they feel left out? Will they grow to resent the fact they do not have a dad to teach them about cars, sports and of course boys biggest mystery ‘girls’! It feels like only now these questions linger in my head, maybe I’ve been trying to be so strong for all of us and never gave a thought to the future, well I most certainly am now.

* * *

There will be more very soon, I have to find a better method for typing out the story as I write it. For now, I only get to type after Myles & Ollie go to bed. I will post again by this Sunday! Have a great week.

Short Story ~ Chapter 4

Chapter 4

At first, I’m not entirely sure what I am looking at. It’s a heart shaped glass bottle filled with all sorts of beach treasures. There are all kinds of shells, pieces of coral, small rocks, sea glass, driftwood and sand. The bottle has a wide opening that is filled with an odd cork and tied around the neck of the bottle is raffia and another piece of coral; it looks like it is strung on the raffia. It is so beautiful and simple; it reminds me of some great times, as well as some not so great times. The beach in a bottle, I can hardly believe the sentiment, it means so much to me. I carefully take the bottle out of the box and set it on the coffee table, turning it all around to see all the little pieces of the beach they could fit in this thing. Underneath the bottle is a note, well more like a letter and it is hand written. The signature grabs my attention first “Mystery Man”. I take out the letter and start to read it.

Abigail,

The very fact you are reading this letter tells me that you are at least interested in what I have to say. I hope the flowers this afternoon were not too much, I felt compelled to tell you what you meant to me and I know you haven’t been on the receiving end of roses in quite some time.

I am sure as you read this you are trying to figure out who I am, rest assured you DO know me and I obviously know you. I have tried to keep my distance from you both professionally and personally and let me tell you it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. From the moment I first met you I have dreamt about you, wished that I had been the one you met in college, the one you fell in love with, the one you made your life with and the one you would grow old with.

No woman I have ever been with has compared to you. Your kindness, your loyalty, your wicked sense of humor, your ability to light up any room you enter with just a smile. You set the bar so high; those poor girls never had a chance.

But over the past two years I have watched you lose yourself. Your laugh has faded, your carefree attitude has been replaced by this shell of a person you once were. I miss you Abigail. I know my gifts to you came as a shock, as well as my cryptic emails but I don’t think you are ready for me to love you yet. Just know that I am waiting for the right moment, and them I promise I will reveal myself to you. So for now, please enjoy the flowers and the beach, I hope it helps you to remember your dreams.

Love always,

Mystery Man

I can’t even move I’m just sitting on the couch holding his letter. I know him? Almost ten years, which puts me back to when I started at my job? I must work with him, but who? Well, we have about fifty people at our company and all of a sudden I can’t remember any of them. How many guys do we even have there? Okay he wrote ten years, so when I stared there were only about twenty of us. Ahh, I can’t remember anything. Well at least that explains the flower on my desk, and the fact he saw me ‘storm’ out of work or down the street or whatever he said.

I try to email him to thank him for the flowers and the beach bottle but after six attempts I give up; I can’t seem to find the words I want to say. I am no longer as concerned by the fact he knows all about me, I actually feel better knowing that I know him too. It is actually reassuring that I won’t have to explain my situation, a widowed mother to two young children. It’s like we would be starting on date four or six or however many dates it takes to drop the whole ‘I have two little boys and my husband recently passed away’ bomb. Seeing as I haven’t dated since college I don’t know the rules anymore.

Right then and there I know what I’m going to do, I decide I’m going to flush him out tomorrow at work. I head to my closet and grab the Hawaiian shirtdress I got on my honeymoon, my teal strappy espadrilles that wrap up my calf and for a small touch the pink hibiscus flower clip I got in Hawaii too. I’m sure this outfit will garner some extra attention but I’m hoping the Mystery Man feels compelled to announce himself to me.

***

Friday morning and I’m up at five am without any assistance from my alarm, I know I’m going to need every minute if I am going to pull this off. Suddenly I am so thankful Lisa and I never stopped our girl’s day out, regular Mani/Pedi’s. She is one of the only friends I’ve held onto these past few years, we met when I started at the company. She was a consultant for NS Turner and we worked close on several projects and needless to say we hit it off. Since then we have been attached at the hip, I can’t believe I haven’t told her about Mystery Man, I’ve been so caught up in this craziness I completely forgot, I’ll have to fill her in tomorrow.

My shower is lightening fast and I managed to get my hair dry and curled in record breaking time. My make up look today will be a little more natural looking, just the basics, foundation, blush, mascara and my favorite lip plumping gloss. Before I get dressed I grab my shimmer lotion and apply generously to my legs, arms and chest, basically anywhere skin will be showing. Then the outfit, I grab it from the closet and stared to get dressed. This dress is so perfect, it was a staple on my honeymoon and I don’t think I’ve worn it since then. It is a button down shirtdress that comes up just above my knees and has a standard collar. It has large teal hibiscus flowers with a black background and a tie belt that goes in front. I leave the first two buttons undone so I don’t look like a librarian, and get my shoes on. The hair clip slides perfectly above my right ear and I take a step back to check out this look. Not too shabby, Mystery Man will have a hard time not approaching today! Or will he? Either way, Hawaiian day is MINE!

Since I managed to pull myself together so quickly I start to get the boys stuff ready for the day, I have to pack up bathing suits so they can go run in the sprinklers, and of course a change of clothes for each of them. They always manage to get so dirty that the usually need to have two outfits a day. Then I get their baggies of cereal, Apple Jacks for Philip and Trix for Ben; orange juice in their cups to take to daycare, and lastly their ‘car toys’. I never understood why they needed toys on the car, it is only a five minute drive from our house, but that is one less argument I want to have in the morning. I sneak into their room just before 6:30 and they are already up. They are just lying on their beds, probably contemplating whether or not to get out of bed. I greet them with a bright smile and an exaggerated Good Morning.

“Hey guys, wakie wakie time!” one day they will hate this but for now they don’t seem to be bothered by incessant need to add an ie or a y to the end of most things I say to them. “Where are my sleepy pies?”

“Good Morning Mommy, did you have nice dreams?” Ben likes to say my lines before I do.

“Yes I did sweetie, how about you?”

“Well, I dreamed that we were swimming at the pool and Mr. Incredible was playing blay blay blades with us and you…” he stopped himself, thank goodness he has a wild imagination and a lot to say, this conversation will probably take the rest of the day. “I’ll be right back I have to go potty” as he bolts out the door.

“Good morning Sleepy Pie” I sit next to Philip and rub his back. He is awake but I don’t think he is very happy about it. “It’s time get up baby, what do you want to wear today?” I always ask him but he really isn’t a morning person…again except on Saturday and Sunday. “Okay, how about your penguin shirt? Is that okay, it’s going to be hot today.”

“Ok mommy, I love you” awe, he is so sweet.

“I love you too Philip”  

As Ben runs back into the room I had just finished getting Philip ready. He is actually easy to get ready because he is so tired he doesn’t put up a fight. Ben on the other hand has an opinion about everything plus his insatiable need to get all of the words in his mind out at once makes mornings a struggle.

“Ben, what are you going to wear today?” I am afraid to ask.

“I don’t know, I want to wear pants and a sweater, I am so hot.” Haha, I know he gets them backwards every once in a while.

“You mean you are cold, right?”

“No I’m hot, I keep getting sweaty” He seems to be annoyed that I do not understand him this morning.

“Okay, but if you are hot I think you should wear shorts and a t-shirt, with your sandals. It is going to be hot today and I don’t think pants are a good idea.”

“Okay, you pick just no zippers or buttons”

“I know.” He is so picky, but that is one thing he really hates…zippers and buttons.

Even though that took a little more time than I was hoping we are still out the door and checking into daycare on time. Ali greets them warmly with a huge hug, I know they like it here because they talk about Ali all the time. ‘Ali knows ALL the colors’, ’Ali plays duck duck goose with us’, ‘Ali this and that’, I am grateful for her help and they are happy so I don’t mind hearing how awesome Ali is.

“Looking hot today Abby, got a hot date?” Ali whistles at me, shaking her hand like she just touched a hot plate. 

“No, its Hawaiian day at work and this was all I could find.” Not really but she hasn’t seen my entire wardrobe.

“Sure it is” She winks as the words pour out of her like a snotty teenager. She is one of the only other people on the planet I know who uses sarcasm as much as I do.

“Well, it is supposed to be hot today and this was the best choice.” I have no idea why I am defending myself to her, she doesn’t care.

“Uh huh” She is shaking her head at me just like I would be if I saw this situation unfold before me.

“Whatever, I gotta go” She can think whatever she wants I have a mission today and I will not let her distract me. “Bye guys, I’ll see you later, have a good day and NO TIME OUTS!!! I love you!” I yell back as I head out the door.

***

I am at work before eight and start to unload my things. I decided to bring a few roses back to work and to help figure out who Mystery Man is I bring my new beach in a bottle and set it on a prominent place on my desk. Hopefully he will see it as a clue that I want to meet him, or re-meet him or know who he is or whatever it is when you are introduced to someone who “loves” you that you already know but didn’t know that fact…ugh, my head is starting to hurt from this. Lastly I grab my phone before I stow my purse in my file cabinet. I am surprised to see an email since I already checked before I got in the shower.

Abigail,

I hope you enjoyed the gift I sent to you yesterday. When I didn’t hear from you I thought you might have been upset and would never want to meet me, but I am choosing not to think that. I can assume that you now know we work together but don’t think for one minute that I am going to just swing by your cube and say hello. I told you that you weren’t ready and I meant it. Hope you have your best Hawaiian shirt on today, I know I will.

Always Yours,

Mystery Man

“Hello” I jump at the surprise, Carla has the best timing EVER.

“Hey Carla good morning, looking good but where are your coconuts?”

“HA HA!” she is not amused this morning, and since she made the trip to my desk she must have something important to say. “I wanted to tell you, you look hot today, you really are taking this whole Hawaiian thing to heart, maybe you should have brought your coconuts.” Oh, not what I expected to hear from her but I’ll take it.

“Thanks Carla, I saw this just sitting in my closet and thought it could use a day out.”

“Well then what’s up with the whole hair, flower, make-up and fun shoe thing you’ve got going on, were those just sitting in your closet too?” Is she mad at me?

“It’s kind of a look, what’s wrong, why are you giving me the third degree?”

“I don’t know you just never dress up. I think you are seeing someone and you just don’t want to tell me. I thought we were closer than that. I have seen you alone for too long now and now you are walking around here like you are on could nine, smiling, getting flowers, and what’s this?” She grabs the bottle on my desk.

“It’s the beach in a bottle.” I’m trying not to give anything away.

“Not just a bottle, it’s a heart shaped bottle and it’s the beach, kind of a big deal for you.”

“I just thought I’d bring something from home to make my desk a little nicer” she can’t know where or when I got this.

“Really, Abby please I have been here for four years now you have never cared about how your desk looks. It is always the same stapler, pen jar, calculator and your phone. It could be an empty desk and no one would know any different.” She takes a long breath. “Look, Abby if you are seeing someone I am happy for you I just thought, well I thought we were closer than this, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry Carla, but I really am not seeing anyone. The flowers were from a friend and the bottle was just sitting on my end table collecting dust. I am trying to wake up again, I have been lost for so long it was becoming easier to stay a drone” I hadn’t realized she cared this much, I really have been wrapped up in my own little world.

“Okay, I’ll accept your answer for now but I know something‘s up. By the way you really do look hot today!”

“Thanks lady, right back at ya!”

I am finally settled and checking my work email, a meeting request just popped up and it’s a mandatory all staff meeting in the conference room in ten minutes. Great, this will probably be some kind of lame motivational speech by Mr. Turner himself, he always goes on and on about how he built this company from the ground up and how it is all because of us and how we are the ones who drive the business, its probably true but it feels awkward. Or worse it will be Cindy from HR talking about how great we are all and that’s why they coordinated this Hawaiian day, she has the worst talking voice you’ve ever heard. She reminds me of Ben Stein, one tone, and no excitement but to top it all off she is unbearably quiet so it’s a struggle to hear her and then to listen to what she has to say. Either way I’m not too thrilled, the only plus side to this is that I will get to see everyone who works here; maybe I will catch Mystery Man staring a bit too long. I really should be letting time take its course, but I can’t help it, I am desperate to know who he is.

When I make it to the conference room it feels like I’m the last one in because everyone turns and looks at me, ‘What do I have something on my face or something?’ I grab a seat near the back mostly because I can’t take the stares. Luckily everyone goes back to their conversations and then Carla swoops in and takes the seat next to me.

“Why are you all the way back here? You can’t get a good look at Nick from this far away, isn’t he so sexy?”

“I thought you were engaged to Jake? Having a change of heart?” I know he is hot, I’m not dead but the way the girls around here act when he comes in the room is embarrassing.

“I can still window shop Abby, as long as I don’t try on the clothes!” she starts giggling and everyone looks at us again.

“Shut up, everyone is staring.” Really, like we haven’t been in here a hundred times before, why is everyone so interested all of a sudden?

“Who cares, let them stare. They are just jealous.” Okay she’s in rare form today, I’m hoping the meeting starts soon, I can’t deal with her like this.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, good morning; let’s get this meeting started.” It is Mr. Turner; I wonder what we are going to hear today. He is a lot easier to listen to than Cindy but he comes with his own set of distractions. First he isn’t very old, I think maybe only five years older than me but he has accomplished so much already. He stared NS Turner & Associates just out of college because his own parents had been swindled out of their life savings from a ‘retirement planning firm’, he has told this story at least fifty times since I stared here. He loves his parents very much and that is obvious but the type of business he started always seemed different.

The company is a small financial advisor firm that helps clients with all aspects of estate and retirement planning. He didn’t want to just sell insurance and stocks; he wanted to be a one stop shop. One of the main things is asset allocation, he wanted to make sure people were taking the right amount of risk while still maintaining their portfolio, but that wasn’t what I liked about this place. NS Turner & Associates wants to give every person the chance to have a nice retirement; they offer debt counseling, real estate services, credit repair and of course they offer insurance products as well as stock brokers. It really is a great place to work, just as long as they aren’t trying to boost moral.

“During our first quarter earnings were up by…” This is about where I start to tune out, I do care about the company but I’d much rather get a memo about the numbers than have to sit here for an hour. Mr. Turner is an interesting guy, he stands over six feet tall, I think he is 6’3”. Even though he IS this company he doesn’t look the part, he is a bit laid back looking, he usually wears a white shirt with the first few buttons undone under his black blazer and black slacks, I’ve only ever saw him in a tie once at a Christmas party a few years back. He has dark brown hair is usually cut short so there is not much to get messy and his steel blue eyes, I find myself thinking about the first time I met him. During my interview, back then he insisted that he do all the hiring, he was writing feverishly in his notebook, glancing up only a few times to ask a question. His head was down but he only looked up when he asked me anything. I would say he was cold but thinking back to it he was just as nervous as i was. From then on he was busy all the time; he was growing a business after all.

“And to finish up our goals for the next quarter will be to…” I’m so over this meeting, I can’t even pay attention. Carla will have a recap from Mr. Turner to send out to all of us by lunchtime. So now I use this opportunity to scan my co-workers. The IT department is all guys; there are six of them, five guys on my team, four guys on the debt counseling team, another four in the real estate department, and six on the stock broker team. I think that narrows it down to half…damn, half of our staff is guys, the other half is women. This is going to be a bit harder than I originally thought.

Short Story ~ Chapter 3

Chapter 3

“Abby you’re back!” Carla’s voices sears through me like a knife. She is a bubbly receptionist who loves to gossip, but she isn’t mean or hateful. I think that might be her way to get to know people. She can be intimidating; she stands about 5’ 10” and has long fire red hair that just brushes past her shoulders, I think she tries to match her finger nails to her hair, not that it bothers me. She looks like a model and I think she did that in her past life but it got out of hand from what I can remember. Somehow she ended up here at NS Turner & Associates.

“Hey Carla, yeah I guess I’m back”, my comments always seem to ooze sarcasm, I can’t help it. “What’s up?” I am praying she doesn’t ask about the flower I am holding or the ones at my desk, as happy as I am right now I do not want to talk about this.

“This came for you while you were out; I think it’s from who ever you are not seeing!” She is practically jumping up and down; this girl will be the death of me.

“Carla, I’m not seeing anyone nor am I not, not seeing anyone” I snapped this time.

“Oh, well it just seems…” I cut her off

“What is it?” My blood pressure starts to rise, why can’t she just leave these things on my desk like everyone else!

“I don’t know it’s in a box. I didn’t want to open your stuff” she sheepishly replied, dammit I didn’t mean to make her feel afraid to talk to me today. As nicely as I could I said

“Thank you for holding this for me, I am glad you thought to keep it safe.”

“No problem” she is beaming again. Whew that was too close. I take the box and head back. In the confines of my cubicle the smell of roses is strong and engulfs me like a soft sheet on a hot day.

“Hey Abby your cubicle stinks! When are you going to rid of those damn flowers?”

“Shut up Stephen, if I have to put up with your stupid jokes then you have to put up with my WONDERFUL flowers” I really lay it on thick how wonderful they are.

“Okay, but take them home, its making me nauseous” Stephen quipped back. He is the class clown in our group, he is always emailing dirty jokes and going on and on about his adventures to be like the guys from Jackass. I can’t believe he is still hooked on that, I am grossed out just thinking about some of the stuff he’s told me. To be honest I’m impressed he is still alive after some of his more daring stunts to copy those guys.

“Okay, I will tonight” besides I’d rather have these at home anyway, they are too beautiful to be stuck in this beige wasteland of cubicles and ‘motivational’ posters.

The rest of the afternoon zips by and soon enough it’s time to head out the door. Today I am going to be more aware of my driving; the Mystery Man’s words have been in the back of my mind all day ‘accident…orphaned…drive safely’. I run to the bathroom before I leave and when I get back there on my keyboard is a single peach rose. I couldn’t have been gone for more than five minutes, he has to be here. I look around and everyone is still at their desks, closing up shop. Carla catches my eye and smiles. She must have seen someone, I head straight to her desk…she knows who it is, she let them in. I HAVE TO KNOW!

“Carla, has anyone come in recently?” I ask with as little more gusto than I intended.

“Not while I’ve been here, why?

Shit, if I tell her why that's it on me, I’ll never get out of here. “No reason, I thought I heard someone asking for something” LIAR, she’ll know I know. She is just playing me right now; well I won’t crack…no way.

“Well I was just in the bathroom a few minutes ago but not for very long.” I can hear the wheels turning in her mind.

“Oh, never mind” I can play it cool too lady!

“Are you sure? Is there something wrong?” okay maybe I was wrong, she actually looks a bit concerned.

“No like I said I thought I heard something; anyways, good night Carla. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, don’t forget its ‘Hawaiian Day’ wear your best coconuts!” She can barely get the words out she is laughing so hard. Coconuts really, even the thought makes me laugh too.

“Oh yeah, I’ll bring my fancy grass skirt!” as usual dripping with sarcasm.

The company is trying to make our jobs more fun, boosting moral or whatever, except it’s mandatory that we participate so it takes away the ‘fun’ of it. I have been here for about ten years; I started almost right after college. I have seen this company do all sorts of moral boosting exercises but this last one is the worst!

I get back to my desk and gather my stuff, the vase of roses, which now include two additional roses, my purse and my box. I can’t believe I forgot about this box, just sitting on my desk undisturbed, patiently waiting to be opened. Well it will have to wait because now I am running late and I have to get the boys on time or there is a fee, a late fee so to speak, like a credit card. This always makes me laugh but I’m sure after being around multiple kids all day long I’d want assurances that they were picked up on time too!

Its just before six when I pick up Ben and Philip, they look like there are in the middle of creating their own masterpiece. Their hands are covered in all sorts of blues, reds and greens; they come to give me a hug but I jump back, blue hands plus grey slacks are not really in style this season. While they are washing up Ali runs me through their day, naps, lunch, painting and no time outs. The last bit of information is always a welcome surprise; she said they were very well behaved and polite all day and that whatever I was doing I should keep it up. ‘Could this day get any better?’

We get home and make dinner, well okay pizza again for the third night in a row but heck if they will actually eat it who am I to complain. After dinner they both help to clear the table without even being asked.

“Who are you and what have you done to my monkeys?” I question them but I am actually curious as to their dinnertime turn around.

“Oooooohhhhhhh Mmmmommmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyy!” Philip says with a sigh, our little game.

“Oooooohhhhhhh Pphhhhhhhhiiiiiiiillllllllliiiiiiipppppp!” I have to return it back or he gets a little ‘upset’.

“Mommy, stop it! You have to give us cookies!” That would be my little CEO. He is the most persuasive and exhausting kid you’ll ever meet and to top that he has the negotiating skills of a car salesman, but he is only five so I have to keep the upper hand. As hard as it is to say no to his cute face I have to keep him in line.

“Ben” using my serious mommy voice “I am sure there is a nicer way to ask for a special after dinner treat. Want to try again?” Of course I am going to give them cookies, I’d give them the moon if they asked for it but I’m still the boss of this place and I can’t lose that control.

“Mommy?” his voice is as sweet as honey; he makes me smile all the way through to my heart. “Can Philip and I plllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaasse have some yummy cookies for being sooooooooo good today?” His voice is so unnaturally sweet, I almost melt.

“Of course you can, just remember you have to be nice when you are asking for something special.”

“Okay!” he says that like he’s closed on a deal. “YAY!!!!!” my screamer in the background, always ready for a cookie, just like his dad.

For a minute I think I’m about to breakdown, looking at Philip is like looking at Adam. His eyes, his unruly hair, even his stature reminds me of Adam. He could have been a clone of his dad, except his temperament is all mine! I shake off those thoughts for tonight, we have our annual visit to Adam’s grave site in a few weeks and I really don’t want to feel bad the whole time leading up to it.

After the boys finish their cookies and head up to bed I remind them to go potty one more time because I am not coming upstairs again. I know that’s a lie and I am pretty sure that they know it too but it’s become part of our routine.

Tonight continues the bliss that was my day; well with the exception of my potential inquisition everything has been smooth. There was next to no traffic, my clients were oddly open to my suggestions and generous with their pocketbooks, my lunch was amazing, the boys were behaving like angels and I got flowers. The only way I can think to add to this day is a fully cooked meal. Usually I stick to cereal or frozen food dinners but I’m feeling like spoiling myself. On tonight’s menu is pan seared pork chops, cornbread stuffing, creamed spinach and cinnamon peaches for dessert. Okay it’s a bit much for one but I know Philip loves this meal and I can take the leftovers to work for lunch tomorrow.

It’s surprisingly early by the time I clean up and get to relax for the night. I grab my box from work and head for the living room. The box is sort of heavy; it’s not too large, maybe about the size of a wine bottle. I carefully slice the tape to avoid hitting whatever is inside.